


Bewitched, Bedazzled and Bewildered

by Tinnean



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universes, First Times, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 07:41:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/795574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinnean/pseuds/Tinnean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Devil, in the form of Blair Sandburg, approaches Detective Jim Ellison with a proposition: seven wishes in exchange for Jim's soul. Jim's tempted. So's the Devil!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bewitched, Bedazzled and Bewildered

## Bewitched, Bedazzled and Bewildered

by Tinnean

Author's website:  <http://www.angelfire.com/fl5/tinnssinns>

Not mine, not in this lifetime. They're Petfly's, and believe me, the Devil has to be looking into that! The figure of speech line belongs to Abbott and Costello. I couldn't resist.

This first appeared in the e-zine The Many Movies of the Sentinel. Thanks to Mary for the beta; to Silk, who nudged me go for it and cross these two fandoms; and to Gail who forced those commas to behave. And a special, posthumous thanks to Alex, who always liked the idea of a gorgeous guy on his knees.

A couple of chapters may seem to be m/f, but trust me on this, ok?   
John Beresford Tipton, for those in our audience too young to remember, or too young to have lived through that time, was The Millionaire, on the TV show of the same name. Each week, he would send his representative, Michael Anthony, to give a check for one million dollars, tax free, to some deserving person.   


* * *

I've watched James Joseph Ellison for a very long time, but he came to my _satanic_ attention when his mission to Peru was sabotaged, and his men were killed. 

Actually, that was the first time he called on me, damning whoever it was who had betrayed his team. Never realizing it was his own commanding officer he was condemning to eternal hellfire. 

//I love first times.// 

And I love my job! Being the reigning fallen angel in hell has so many marvelous perks! 

There are plagues to loose, souls to corrupt, ... _hell_... to pay? 

I left him there in Peru, fully intending to check back in a month or so, but you know how time slips by when you're enjoying yourself! Revolutions. Scandals. Disasters, especially those man-made ones. 

Months passed before I was finally able to turn my attention back to the blue-eyed Ranger. But when I got back there, I found him under the protection of the Chopec shaman, Incacha. 

My momma didn't raise stupid angels. I don't screw with holy men! 

So I left him there. After all, there were a _great_ many others who needed my personal consideration. So much work, so little time. 

Groundwork needed to be laid in the Middle East. That funny little man, with the big mustache and the penchant for rhetoric, for instance. All it would take was the tiniest push, and I'd have him invading his neighbor to the south, starting a very interesting incident involving a desert shield. 

From there I went back to Washington, DC to see whose life I could fuck up. Convincing that politician, the one whose daddy got him in the National Guard, that potato ended in 'e' was like taking candy from a baby. 

I'm _such_ a devil. Pun intended! 

But I occasionally thought of the luscious Captain Ellison, of those muscles, and those eyes, and that mouth. And I fully intended to keep an eye out for him. 

* * *

Time passes in the blink of an eye. It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't seen James Joseph Ellison in quite some time. Idly, I wondered if I should go looking for him. Perhaps now he would be amenable to a little seduction? 

To the dark side! 

What did you think I meant? 

* * *

He couldn't know I was here. 

He _couldn't_ know I was here! 

How could he know I was here? I made sure I was invisible before I went to see how he was doing. Yet...why were my thumbs pricking? 

That was the indication that something wicked was coming. 

Well, it certainly wasn't me! _I_ wasn't coming. //Not yet, at any rate.// 

I'd been busy turning Cascade, Washington into a hotbed of terrorists, drug dealers, serial killers and other unsavory types. And then _he_ showed up and went to work for the police department. Beyond the fact that he was throwing a spanner into my carefully conceived plans, there was the heat that always settled in my groin whenever he was near. 

I wanted him. I wanted that tight-assed vice cop. 

Well, that was neither here nor there. I have my own set of ethics, as surprising as that may seem to some. I'd have his soul. That was _all_ that concerned me. 

I thought wistfully of his body. 

It took a while, but finally I had my course of action carefully plotted. Now I was ready! He was sitting at the bar, and I was going to make my move. Time to lay claim to another soul! 

He was dressed in a flannel shirt and a pair of jeans that were so new they almost squeaked when he shifted on his stool. 

I felt my cock twitch, and my tail twitched as well. 

//Oh, what, you didn't think the Angel of the Abyss had a tail? What century are you living in? Of _course_ I have a tail. It's tucked safely away in my trousers, and sometimes I think the damned thing has a life of its own, but it's _there_!// 

I glared sternly at myself. "Down, boy! We're here to lay siege to his soul, not his body!" 

Although I really wouldn't have minded... 

All right, where was I? Oh yes, there he sat, on that barstool. 

The bartender was sliding a bottle of beer across the bar, and his eyes widened as I winked into visibility. Damn! Was I losing my touch? 

I ran a finger across my forehead, and the memory of my sudden appearance was wiped from his mind. The look he gave me now was bored. "What'll it be, chum?" 

"Chivas Regal, with a twist," I told him. 

Jim jumped and nearly fell off his stool. "Where the fuck did you come from? I'd have sworn I was by myself at this end of the bar!" 

I just smiled and took a sip of my drink. "Can I do something for you, Jim?" 

He glowered at me. "No one can do anything for me. I'm so mired in...Hey, how'd you know my name?" 

"Lucky guess?" 

He didn't look as if he was going to buy that. I smiled, my best winsome smile, and was rewarded by the disappearance of the frown lines between his brows. "Hi, there, Chief." 

"Hi, Jim. There's some nice talent here tonight," I responded casually. "I can get one for you, if you want." 

Jim Ellison shook his head. "They're not what I want." 

"What do you want, big guy?" 

"Doesn't matter. They won't want me." 

"Mind telling me why not?" 

"I'm a fucking vice cop! It rubs off on you after a time, you know? What decent woman is going to want me?" He grimaced. "And look at me! Is this suave? Can I pass myself off as Cary fucking Grant? I don't think so, Chief!" 

"Okay, big guy. Let me lay the cards on the table. I will give you whatever your heart desires, in exchange for just a tiny remuneration." 

Jim slanted a look at me. "Right. Who do you think you are, Mephistopheles?" 

"Bingo!" 

"Okay, Chief... Listen, I can't keep calling you 'Chief'. What's your _real_ name?" 

Gee, I was kind of liking how that sounded. "Really. I'm the devil. Satan. Lord of the Underworld. The Prince of Darkness. I can give you whatever you want. Untold riches? Fame? Longevity? Just name it, and it's yours!" 

"Oh yeah? And what's the price tag on all this stuff you're willing to shower me with?" 

"Oh," I waved my hand casually. "Just your soul. You really weren't using it, so I thought..." 

His expression became grim, and I shut up. 

Wait a minute! I'm The Supreme Arbiter of Evilness! Mortals don't make me shut up; I make _them_ shut up! 

Jim spoke before I could come up with a stinging retort. "I deal with the scum of the earth: pimps, pushers, hookers. Lawyers. My world is the color of dingy grey sweat socks. So you show me proof, Chief. I'm not about to sign away my hope of heaven, if there is such a place, for a handful of mumbles." 

"Of course not, of course not! Um, tell me what you want, big guy, and it's yours." 

He glanced down at the clothes he wore, and for that brief second, I could peer into his mind and see his heart's desire. 

"Threads," he finally said. "I'd like some really classy threads." He really did want to be Cary Grant. 

"Okay, Jim. Let's go." 

"Where are we going?" he asked cautiously. 

"You'll see!" I assured him. "But you'll get an entire new wardrobe that would make your hero green with envy!" 

"It's almost midnight, Chief. All the stores are closed!" 

"Not quite, Detective Ellison. Not quite!" 

* * *

We stepped out of the vehicle, Jim waving his hand in front of his face. "Phew, that was vile! That's the worst smelling cab I've ever ridden in!" 

I looked at him in surprise. "You could smell that?" 

"Hell, yes! Couldn't you?" 

Of course I could. But mortals never detected the odor of brimstone that permeated my own personal transportation. 

"Never mind, just come this way." I led him into the quietly elegant building. Just three stories high, it was dwarfed by the taller, shabbier buildings that surrounded it. The marble and glass interior gleamed richly. 

Jim Ellison's head whipped from side to side, taking in all the luxurious accoutrements of this business. "I don't remember seeing this place here in Cascade!" 

I thought it best not to respond to that statement, because it usually _wasn't_ here in Cascade. When you're Lucifer, all things are possible with the snap of a finger. "Here you go. Try these for starters." I held up some dress shirts by Enro to see how they went with his complexion. 

Perfect, absolutely perfect! They made him look so ruggedly handsome. 

//I have such impeccable taste!// 

A salesman trailed us like an obsequious puppy. "Can I get you gentlemen anything? A latte, perhaps? Or a frappucino?" 

Jim gave him a look that had the little salesman backing away nervously. I declined politely. 

The salesman called for more assistants as he became weighted down with all the garments I selected for Jim. I piled them in his arms: slacks by Perry Ellis, sportswear that bore the Newport Blue label. And those lovely Enro shirts. 

"Do I need all this?" 

"If you want to look like Cary Grant, big guy. Do you wear pajamas?" He shook his head, and regretfully I by-passed the Knothe Pleetway collection. 

"Oh, wait, this is perfect!" I exclaimed, and held up a Fumagalli tux in midnight blue. "This goes so well with your eyes!" 

Those eyes were becoming glazed over by the time we were done. Shoes, socks and underwear could wait for another time. I observed the stacks of boxes that towered by the customer service station. 

"Will that be all this evening, sir?" the sales associate asked Jim as she began to total up the purchases. 

Sweat was beading on his upper lip as the total sum grew higher and higher. "Geez, Chief... What is your name? I can't keep calling you 'Chief'!" 

"No? I rather like it. Very well, Jim. You can call me Blair. Blair...Sandburg." 

"That doesn't sound very demonic." 

I smiled at him, and was secretly thrilled when his breath caught in his throat. 

"Ah hem. Yes well, _Blair_ , this is a rather expensive shopping spree, isn't it?" 

"Nope. It would've cost you _much_ more if I'd chosen to go to Paris! Now give the nice lady your credit card, Jim. I want to see..." 

" _What_?" 

"Well, you don't expect _me_ to pay for these clothes, do you?" 

// _I'd_ have preferred to keep him naked!// 

An embarrassed flush colored his cheeks. Of course he expected me to pay for them. 

//Only that wasn't part of the deal.// 

But guys didn't buy clothes for other guys. They bought clothes for their women. 

//Or their fancy boys.// 

Grumbling, he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and tossed a platinum MasterCard on the counter. "This is going to max me out, you know." 

"Carpe that old diem, Jim." 

* * *

I had my driver drop us off at 852 Prospect. When Jim turned to start humping his purchases up to the loft, he found the cab empty. "Ah, shit! Don't tell me we left them at that store!" 

"No, Jim," I said reassuringly, unable to resist patting the broad shoulder beneath the sport jacket that I insisted he wear. It went surprisingly well with his flannel shirt. "They're already in your apartment. Let's go. I want to see what you pick out for tonight. It's still early, and you'll have plenty of time to go on the prowl!" 

His look was disconcerted, but he followed me into the apartment building and up to 307. As he fumbled for his key, I lay the flat of my palm just above the lock, and then pushed gently. 

The door swung open. "What did you do?" he demanded. 

"Just a little something to help convince you of who I really am!" 

"Show off! You think that was really necessary?" Carefully, he peeled off the jacket and hung it up. 

Well, it wasn't. And I _was_ showing off. I had to get myself under control. 

He crossed to the stairs that led to his loft, and my eyes lingered on the flex of those long muscles that flowed from his thighs to the taut curves of his ass as he took them two at a time. 

A soft splash of moonlight dappled the sofa that was set before that large window. I crossed the hardwood floor and sat down, spreading my legs and adjusting my cock. 

His soul or his body. 

His body or his soul. 

I could have one or the other, but not both. 

Problem was, _I_ was damned, either way I went. 

* * *

We went to a really upscale watering hole. It was nothing like the place where I had found him, the blue collar, neighborhood-bar type of bar that cops normally hang out in. 

"You have the pager I gave you? Just in case you decide you're not happy with this wish and want another one?" 

"I'm not going to need those seven wishes you promised me," he was saying. "All I want is a good woman, and once I find her, I won't need anything else." He looked around the luxuriously appointed, dimly lit gin mill. 

Yeah, it might have pretensions to big city ambiance, but that's all it was when you came right down to it. 

Jim went still. 

I followed his eyes. They were on a brunette, who was sitting alone. There was a candle on the high-glossed, tiny table in front of her. Its flicker was reflected in her dark eyes. 

" _Her_! She's the one!" 

I felt hollow inside. "Carolyn Plummer? You work with her, don't you? Do you really think it's a good idea to get involved with someone from the police department?" 

He nailed me to the spot with a flash of those baby blues. "You said any woman I wanted. And I don't work with her. She's in another division, entirely." 

"I was just trying to save you a world of trouble, big guy," I shrugged carelessly. "No skin off my nose." I held my hands out, palms up. "She's all yours, Jim!" 

I didn't think that he would find someone so quickly. I thought I'd have a chance at him. 

//But then, I'm not the Prince of Lies for nothing. I _never_ play fair.// 

Something must have appeared on my face. "And you won't interfere?" 

I adopted a hurt look. "C'mon, big guy! Would I do that to you?" 

"Truthfully? Yeah, in a New York City minute! And let me tell you something, Chief. If I even _smell_ you around here after I start walking across this floor, all bets are off! I'll find that document you had me sign in my apartment, I will fold it into a sharp point, and I will take great pleasure in shoving it, very, very slowly, up your undoubtedly sexy ass!" 

Whoa. Wait a minute. He thought my ass was sexy? And what did he mean, if he _smelled_ me? Granted I had my own unique scent, but mortals weren't aware of it! 

Much as I wanted to examine his statements from every angle, I brushed those thoughts aside. I'd have to move fast. "Good luck, big guy!" I vanished in the blink of an eye, making sure no one would notice. 

Jim's nostrils flared, and he honest-to-Hades looked as if he was scenting the air! Satisfied that I was nowhere around, he rolled his shoulders to settle them beneath the fine wool sports jacket he wore, and then strolled across the room to greet the dark haired woman. 

"Carolyn. It's so nice to see you outside of work. Do you mind if I join you?" 

I could see she was startled, and wasn't sure how to respond to the man before her. Usually he was dressed in stained, raggy old clothes suited to his undercover work. Now he looked...gorgeous. And she regretted that she was here to meet someone else. 

"Jim. You look _wonderful_! Actually, I'm..." 

I fogged her mind and erased the memory of her date. 

"Actually, I'd love it!" 

* * *

I lingered at the entrance of the bar, the drink in my hand large and violently chartreuse, with bits of fruit bobbing in it. The man who was hurrying to enter the room bumped me, and my drink spilled onto his pristine white shirt. 

"Shit, man! Why didn't you watch where you were going?" he snarled. 

I ran my fingers over my forehead. 

"Shit, man! I'm so sorry! I don't know where my mind was. I should have been watching where I was going! Are you all right? Here, let me buy you another drink!" 

"It's quite all right," I assured him graciously. "Accidents happen. But your suit is all wet! And your shirt will be ruined!" 

"No biggy, man. I...don't even know why I came to this place. I don't usually come here unless I'm meeting someone... Oh well, this gives me a good excuse to just head on home and make an early night of it." 

"That sounds like a plan!" I smiled at him, and watched as he turned and left. If I had given him the slightest nudge, he would have asked me to go with him, but I had other fish I was going to season, bread and deep fry tonight. 

* * *

I was still hovering invisibly by the door when Jim and Carolyn passed me by. Jim's nostrils quivered, and his eyes widened, and he whipped his head around. 

_How did he do that_? How could he possibly know I was there? 

Well, that was unimportant. I'd have to make my move now. 

I took over Carolyn Plummer's body with a deliberate violence. Her mind cowered away from the possession of mine, and I just barely kept her body from collapsing. As it was, I had to turn it into a stumble, and Jim caught her. 

And for the first time, //Did I mention how much I loved first times?// I was chest to chest with him. Well, chest to breast, since I was in a woman's body. 

"Carolyn, you all right, babe?" 

I made her voice breathless. "I'm fine, big guy!" 

" _Huh_?" 

_Shit_! I'd have to watch that! I rubbed my forehead, and the line between his brows vanished. "I'm fine, Jim. I must have caught my heel on the carpet." 

He smiled and scooped her...me...us into his manly arms. "We can't have that, now can we?" 

That's the kind of act that gets to a woman every time. It got to me, too. 

I nestled my head against his shoulder and let him carry her...me...us...oh _fuck it_ , this could become confusing! I let him carry _me_ out into the night. 

I hadn't been able to persuade him to buy a new vehicle, and now he put me into that beat-up blue pickup of his. "Take me home, Jim." 

For a moment he looked uncomfortable. "My loft is a disaster, Caro. Let's go back to your place." 

He didn't want to take her to his apartment? Well, now, that was promising! 

I gave him a brilliant smile. "That's a great idea, Jim." 

He leaned forward and brushed his lips across mine, and I froze. While he walked around to his side of the truck, I ran my tongue over my lips, tasting him there. If I had been in my own body, my cock would have been quivering with anticipation. 

As it was, the ache between my thighs was a pleasurable substitute. 

I let Carolyn out just enough to give him directions to her townhouse, and then frightened her back to her hiding place. I didn't _have_ to do that, but...if Jim was determined to have her, then _I_ was going to have some fun! 

//I _love_ my job!// 

The conversation on the ride to our destination was little more than soft murmurs. Jim had his free hand on my thigh, stroking the bare skin above the sheer stockings I wore. My nipples tingled, and I slid down a bit on the bench seat, spreading my legs, hoping he would take advantage of what I was silently offering him. 

His blunt middle finger fondled the damp crotch of my silk panties. I moaned softly and let my head fall back. 

Jim put the pickup into park. "I never thought you'd let me touch you, Carolyn. I thought you felt I was just a slob of a vice cop." 

"Oh, you're a vice cop all right, big... Jim! And I've been wanting you to show me all the things you've had to learn to be a _good_ vice cop!" 

He looked uneasy. "Are you sure? You never struck me as the kind of woman..." 

I took his head between my hands and forced him to look into my eyes. I had to keep the flames at bay, or he might have guessed who was going to be making love with him tonight. "Can you keep your mouth shut long enough for me to kiss it?" I asked huskily. 

And then I didn't have to say anything else. His mouth on mine was all I could have hoped it would be. Firm lips, molding to mine, an eager, thrusting tongue, exploring the textures of my mouth, sharp teeth that nibbled and nipped until I felt as if he were pushing me toward the edge. 

" _Jim_...!" I breathed. 

He smiled and let me go, getting out of the truck and coming around to my side to help me out. 

Somehow, I got us past doors, through rooms, and into the ultra feminine bedroom that was Carolyn Plummer's sanctum. I snapped my fingers, and the lamp by her bed glowed, pink, subdued, romantic. 

Jim's gaze was too probing, and I shrugged. "Clap on, clap off?" I offered weakly. I'd _have_ to watch what I was doing! 

He seemed to accept that and reached for me. 

If it were up to me, I would have torn off those too-restricting clothes, flinging them to the corners of that room, but Jim insisted on undressing me and neatly folding each item he removed. I...was not pleased with the care he was taking with this woman. 

But finally we were on the bed. He rolled toward the lamp and snapped it off. "Don't you want to see me as we make love, Jim?" I asked. 

"No, Carolyn. Ladies don't do that." 

Oh, they didn't? I wasn't about to challenge that foolish statement. My mouth was watering at the luscious man lying on the bed. Fuck everything else; I was going to have him. 

Only, when I reached for his beautiful cock, it was flaccid, decidedly uninterested. "Uh, Jim?" 

The blush that covered his face was almost painful. "I'm sorry, Caro, I don't understand..." 

I straddled his thighs and grinned. "You let me take care of that little problem, big...boy." _Hades_ I'd have to be careful of what I called him! 

He was half-sitting now, his hands on my shoulders. "Caro, I don't know. I'm not sure..." 

But then I swallowed him to the root, and whatever it was he was unsure of became lost in garbled syllables. I put his hands on my breasts and encouraged him to squeeze the pebble-hard nipples. I moaned, and the vibration ran through his cock, and he shuddered. He was getting hard, but not hard enough for what I planned. 

I reversed my position above him, so that my ass was facing him. Maybe if he saw what was between my thighs, he'd be more interested. His chest rose beneath me as he drew in a deep breath, taking in my musky scent which held just a hint of Carolyn's, and then his hands settled on my hips, and he pulled me back toward his face. 

His tongue lapped at the humid folds, and I settled down to giving him a blowjob the likes of which was guaranteed to curl his toes, fry his circuits, and pop the top of his skull. 

Wait a minute! What the fuck...? His tongue was running up along my perineum and on to the little puckered opening beyond it. It circled the muscle that guarded the snug passage, and then dipped it. He did it again. And again. 

He was rimming me! My hole became loose and welcoming, and I groaned. And he became so hard it felt like an iron bar between my lips. Drops of precome oozed from the tip, his taste salty on my tongue. 

"Caro, _please_!" 

"Oh _yes_!" I freed him long enough to husk. I scooted forward and raised up on my knees. Reaching behind, I parted my cheeks and lowered myself until his cock was just touching that other opening. I brushed his cock back and forth across it, until it was smeared with his semen, and then I let gravity take over as I sank down on him. 

My saliva and his own tongue made it easy for his cock to pierce that entrance, but _unholy Hades_ Carolyn Plummer was tight! She must never have tried anything like this before! 

I groaned again and accepted a little more of him. He was stretching me, filling me, and he seemed to grow even larger as he got deeper into me. 

"My God, Carolyn! No, _wait_!" His hands on my hips kept me still. He sat up, and suddenly he was buried so deep that I could feel his balls against my ass. 

My breath was sobbing in and out. I had never felt anything like this. If only it was my own body! The burning glide Jim was establishing would have brushed over my hot spot every time. 

As it was, the body I had invaded had no prostate, and while the fucking this ass was getting promised a decent orgasm, it was too far out of reach. 

I was becoming increasingly frustrated. I squeezed my inner muscles, and Jim groaned and fucked me harder. But it still wasn't enough. 

The throbbing between my thighs finally grabbed my attention. Annoying little bundle of nerves! I gathered some of the moisture that was coating my heated flesh, touching Jim's cock as he was urging me up, and he shuddered. But his pleasure wasn't my concern at this point: he was doing fine! 

I massaged my own essence onto that little nub and jolted as if I had touched myself with a live wire. All right, this was more like it. But I needed more. 

Fortunately, my back was to Jim, and he couldn't see the flame that burned in my eyes. And he couldn't see how my index finger grew blunt and hard and covered with scales. 

As Jim pounded into my ass, I tormented that bit of flesh, stroking, squeezing, pinching. His hoarse shouts rang in my ears, and I heightened my senses. 

I felt him pouring himself into my passage, scalding me, and that helped tip me over the edge as well. 

I collapsed onto his legs, unable to distinguish the quivering of my muscles from the quivering of his. 

He folded the length of his torso over me, and his lips wandered across my shoulders, kisses mingling with unintelligible words. He carefully disengaged us and gathered me in his arms. "Jim!" I murmured contentedly. 

I thought I heard him whisper "Chief!" 

That must have been wishful thinking. 

And then I was buffeted by a whirlwind. 

* * *

There was another presence with me in Carolyn Plummer's body. Surrounded by bright, white light. And it was suddenly more than a trifle crowded in there. 

"Rafe, what are you doing down here? Slumming?" I asked snidely. 

The archangel ignored my comment. "The Big Guy is not pleased." 

"Are you kidding? You _are_ kidding, aren't you? I just gave him the most intense orgasm of his life!" 

"Lucifer...the _Big Guy_ ," Raphael informed me pityingly. 

_Shit_. "Oh. _Him_." 

"Yes. Now, get out of this woman's body. Don't make me have to get Max von Sydow." 

"Huh? Oh. Exorcist." 

"Right. How long were you confined to hell after that little escapade? You know _He_ lets you do whatever you want, free will and all that shit. But you're crossing the line on this one, and _He_ isn't happy about it." 

"Goddamn...Sorry. Poppa gonna get angry and spank?" I sneered. 

"You liked it the last time, didn't you?" 

That's the problem: there are just _no_ secrets in heaven. Which is why I inhabit hell. 

"All right," I groused. "Give me a minute to clear things up, and then I'm outta here!" 

He didn't say anything, but I knew I was alone in that body once again. I turned my attention back to the detective I had just fucked, in time to hear him say... 

* * *

"Marry me, Carolyn." 

" _What_?" I sat up with a shriek and winced at the soreness of my well-used back passage. 

"That was the best... the most fantastic...I've never felt like that before! Marry me!" 

Well, _fuck_! That was _me_ who gave him the best lay he'd ever had, and he wanted to marry that... that _woman_? 

Well, he could just have her! 

I whipped myself out of her body, freeing her consciousness. 

Jim sat up abruptly, and his nostrils flared, and his lips parted. I don't know what he would have said. _She_ chose that moment to speak. "Why is my ass so sore?" she whined. Her eyes widened in surprise as she realized there was a man in her normally chaste bed. "Jim?" 

"It's okay, babe." He glared around the room, and his voice was abnormally loud. "It's okay. We're getting married. And everything is going to be fine!" 

I huffed and flounced out of there. If the big dope thought he could find happiness with Carolyn Plummer, _fine_! Let him marry her and screw her from here to eternity. 

But he'd never have better sex than he'd just had with me! 

* * *

I had to find a new distraction. As the head honcho, fallen angel division, I'm always busy. And if I'm not, I can always find something to do. 

After all, idle hands are my playground. 

I contemplated the wall of my study, pondering this state of affairs. 

//Or lack of them.// 

I hadn't taken any joy in my job in months. Eighteen months, to be precise. 

* * *

I frowned at the map of current unrest in the world, wondering what evil I could come up with. Something guaranteed to cause some mayhem. A potent new street drug? A new vid game filled with excessive gore and violence? 

Or perhaps a new boy band whose sexuality was so ambiguous that all everyone would want to do is question it, rather than listen to the words of their music, which, if played backwards, would actually say something so innocuous, no one would ever believe it? Something like "Party on, dudes and dudettes!"? 

I sighed. All of that was just _so_ ten minutes ago! 

Nothing captured my interest for long anymore. I worried at a cuticle and frowned some more. 

And jumped when my pager went off. _The_ pager. The one I had given a certain police detective. 

My heart lurched and I stared at the little rectangular gadget as if it might bite me. For eighteen months it had remained adamantly silent. 

Which was fine with me. As I said, I had plenty to occupy my time. 

And I hardly ever thought of him. 

Hardly ever. 

Not _once_ did I peek into his life. 

I have more dignity than that. 

And if I want to get laid, I _don't_ need an anal-retentive police dick to do it. 

Although he wasn't half bad. Maybe if he had fucked me in my own body... 

As it was, I had been forced to leave Carolyn Plummer's body so fast, I couldn't even enjoy the residual tingles James Ellison had given me. 

And _she_ was such a prude; she didn't even appreciate his style of lovemaking. 

All right, you caught me. I did peek. But only _once_. I swear. 

Hey, would _I_ lie? 

Now, where was I? Oh yes, the vibe...I mean the pager. 

It beeped out Ravel's Bolero, better known, thanks to a few words whispered in a movie director's ear, as the all-time _best_ music to fuck by. I had originally programmed the pager just to play music, but after a few months, I set it to vibrate also. 

//Well, I didn't want to take a chance, a very minor chance, mind you, that I might miss his page. And okay, I'll admit it, I kind of get off on the vibrations.// 

I dialed his number. "Yes?" I asked casually, as if I hadn't a clue who was on the other end of the line. 

"It's me." 

Oh, that was very nice. Eighteen months, he never called _once_ , //Did he even think about me?// and he had the conceit to think I'd remember his _voice_? 

"How very nice for you. Who, exactly, is 'me'?" 

"Jim." I could tell that took him aback, and I grinned evilly to myself. "It's Jim. Ellison. The police detective," he elucidated. "I used to be in Vice, but I'm in Major Crimes, now." 

"Ah, yes. Detective Ellison. How nice for you. I must say, I _am_ surprised to hear from you. How is your charming wife?" 

"She's fine." She wasn't just fine, she was fucking perfect. That's why he'd married her in the first place. "Umm, how are you?" His voice held a hesitance I found disconcertingly charming. "I've... missed seeing you around." 

"Really? Well, I'm quite well, thanks. And rather busy. Would you mind getting to the point of this phone call?" I held my breath, hoping he was calling me for the reason I hoped he was calling me for. 

//I shook my head, certain my brain was stuck to the inside of my skull. What the fuck had I just thought?// 

"I...need to know if your original offer is still open?" 

// _Yes_!// 

I had to pause a bit, until I was sure my voice was under control. "I was under the impression you had no desire for the rest of your wishes," I remarked casually. 

"Yeah, well, things didn't work out as well as I had hoped." 

"I'm so sorry to hear that!" I said in a very smooth tone of voice. How very immature of me to gloat! I sighed loudly enough to be heard over the line. 

"You're not going to leave me hanging, are you?" I could hear the panic in his voice. 

"Of course not," I said soothingly. "Tell me what went wrong." 

It was his turn to sigh. "Carolyn just didn't like...And she wouldn't even...I don't understand it. The first night we were together, we did things to each other... And then after we were married, she wouldn't, and she wouldn't let me..." 

"Well," I intoned unctuously, "a marriage between two people who are in love is always a matter of compromise. Give and take, if you will." 

"Yeah," he grumbled. "But I did all the giving, and she did all the taking!" 

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk." Oh, this was just too delicious! God was alive and well and doing me the biggest favor of my career! I wondered what He thought of that. 

"Listen, Blair, I really need to see you. I have to have a change in my life." 

"Well, I can give you whatever you want, but what will Carolyn say? _She_ can't come along, I'm afraid." 

"We've split up," he finally admitted. "She's divorcing me." 

"Ah." I had to sit on the corner of my desk, almost dizzy from the sudden rush of euphoria. "So," I swung my leg gently back and forth, and forced myself to keep my voice neutral, "what do you want for your next wish?" 

"I've given this some thought. This has been the year and a half from hell. Sorry. I need a break, _badly_. I kind of thought, maybe I'd go back and relive my senior year in high school? I had a really miserable time of it that year. We just moved to a new town, and I didn't know anybody. I kind of kept to myself a lot. I never got up the nerve to ask a single girl out." He sounded embarrassed. He also sounded cute, and I felt myself grow hard. "My date for the senior prom was my brother, Stephen." 

"Well, that's, um ...sad." I had to muffle my laughter at that tidbit. James Ellison, dateless? Pull my other leg, why don't you? "All right, if that's what you want, just spell it out in twenty-five words or less." 

"Huh?" 

"Sorry. That was just me being silly. Tell me what you wish for." 

"What I wish for?" His words were musing, and for a long time there was silence. 

I almost panicked. "Jim? I know you're still there, I can hear you thinking!" 

"Do you _know_ what I'm thinking? Never mind, it isn't important. Okay then." He drew in a deep breath. "I, Jim Ellison wish...I just want to go back and do it over, have a good time. I want to be popular with the opposite sex!" 

Had he been about to wish for something else? I dismissed that thought. "You got it, big guy!" I raised my right hand to snap my fingers and send him back to his senior year in high school. 

Before I could though, he murmured softly, "Umm, Blair? You really didn't mind that I haven't been in touch for all this time? I wanted to, you know, but..." 

"Has it been a while?" I asked innocently, cutting him short. "I hadn't realized." 

"Oh." Boy, he could pack a world of disgruntlement in one little word. "It's been eighteen months," he informed me. 

I snapped my fingers, sending him back to be the most sought after person in his high school. "I know, big guy." 

Eighteen months. 

Seventy-eight weeks. 

Five hundred forty-seven days. 

Thirteen thousand one hundred and forty hours. 

Eight hundred seventy-eight thousand four hundred minutes. 

Oh yes, I knew _exactly_ how long it had been! 

* * *

"You _bastard_! You goddamned, son-of-a-bitch _bastard_!" 

"Why, Jim! I do believe you're angry with me! I'm _so_ cut to the quick!" My tail slid over my shoulder and rubbed him seductively under his chin. 

Icy blue eyes glared at me. He brushed my tail away, and I shivered at his touch. "I will fucking _kill_ you! Look at me! Look what you've _fucking_ done to me!" 

"Miss Ellison! Your language!" Of course, it was Mrs. Nickerson, the dean of girls. She regarded Jim with a gimlet eye. "I want to see you in the auditorium after last class. You will have detention for the rest of the week! Don't you have hygiene this period, young lady?" 

"Yes, ma'am. I'm on my way." 

The plump woman gave a satisfied nod, and she waddled down the hallway, her sensible shoes with the rubber soles squeaking rhythmically. I could hear Jim's teeth grinding. 

"Hey, man," I said softly, "you told me you wanted to be the most popular person in your senior class!" 

"Yeah, but not a _girl_! You've made me into a girl!" 

"And your point is...?" 

//Do I need to tell you how much I was loving this?// 

"Listen, hairboy, I'm about two seconds from reaching down your throat and ripping your fucking lungs out!" 

A big, buff, football type sauntered by. "Hi, Jamie," he murmured as he ran a hand over the firm ass that was temptingly framed in hip-hugging bell-bottoms. "I had a great time last night, angel eyes. Same time tonight?" 

"What?" Jim's voice rose in a feminine squeak. "Get your f... _freaking_ hands off me, you male chauvinist pig!" 

The boy grinned at her. "I love when you talk dirty to me!" He managed to steal a kiss. "You gonna suck me off again tonight?" 

"Go fuck yourself, Henri Brown!" 

"Not when I can get you to do it! See ya later, babe!" He laughed and dodged the blow Jamie aimed at him. 

"Oh, God!" Jim moaned. "I hit like a girl!" 

"That's because you _are_ a girl, big guy!" 

"What does he mean, 'suck him off, _again_ '?" 

"Well, I hate to break this to you, beautiful, but you're the class slut!" 

I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head and roll around on the floor. "Why did you do this to me, Chief?" he moaned. 

"You said you wanted to be popular with the opposite sex, man. You did _not_ specify which sex you wanted to be opposite of. Or what made you so popular!" I turned away to leave Jim/Jamie in the corridor of his/her high school. 

//This could be almost as confusing as when I was in Carolyn Plummer's body, getting my ass fucked by the tasty detective!// 

"It's because I didn't call, isn't it? You're getting even with me for that!" Jamie sniffed and touched her eyes, appalled to find them wet. "Oh, God! I'm _crying_! I never...!" 

She spun on her heel, and nearly fell off her platform shoes. 

"Where are you headed?" I asked interestedly. 

"I'm going to the bathroom, if you have no objection!" She sniffed again. "I have to repair my make-up!" She curled her lip at me in disdain. 

"Um, Jamie? You might want to watch which john you use," I called. 

"What?" Jamie stepped back from the door, with its universal sign of a figure in trousers. "This is the boys' room." 

"Right, big guy. And ...?" 

"Oh, _shit_! I'm not a boy anymore!" 

"Riiiight!" 

Her eyes were furious now, and she stamped her foot, almost losing her balance. "I hate you, Blair Sandburg! I really, _really_ hate you!" She stormed into the girls' room, not paying much attention to the fact that I was right behind her. "Oh, hell! My mascara is all streaked! I look like a demented raccoon!" 

"Here, babe." I handed her a square of linen with an elaborate BS embroidered in a corner. Jamie moistened it and dabbed at her eyes. 

"How long do I have to stay like this?" she demanded. 

Actually, all she needed to do was simply use the pager. Obviously, Jamie, nee Jim Ellison, wasn't thinking too clearly. 

Well, she was right, I was taking a little revenge for the eighteen months I had been forced to wait. _I_ wasn't about to tell her the facts of life now. 

"You don't want to know, big guy." 

"Stop calling me that! That is so patronizing! Especially when I look like this!" She gestured down to the gauzy top she wore, which tied under her pert breasts, leaving her midriff bare. 

"You're a fox, babe." 

My tone of voice caught her attention, and her head jerked up sharply. "What?" 

I pushed myself off from the doorjamb where I was leaning and slowly circled around her. "Yeah, I outdid myself this time." 

"What?" 

I grinned, and she turned pale. 

"Blair, what are you looking at me like that for?" Her pointed little tongue peeked out to moisten her lips, those luscious, _luscious_ lips! 

"I've decided I want to sample some of what you've been giving away." 

"I haven't given _anything_ away!" 

"No? Last night, with H? You don't remember climbing into the back seat of his beat up, old Chevy Nova, unzipping his jeans and taking out his dick? Granted, his cock isn't much to write home about, but for an eighteen year old, it's not too shabby. He'd be crushed you forgot so quickly!" 

Her throat worked convulsively. "That wasn't a dream?" She moaned and banged her head repeatedly against the mirror above the sink. "Oh, God, and I _swallowed_! I _am_ a slut!" 

I lined my body up behind hers and reached around to palm her breasts. For an instant, the thought flickered through my mind that this wasn't the body I wanted to explore. 

But I dismissed it and began plucking at her nipples through the material of her top. She wasn't wearing a bra. In spite of herself, they became erect. I teased them with my nails, and Jamie trembled. 

"Too bad this school's dress code banned mini skirts," I murmured in her ear as I rubbed my crotch against the sweet curves of her ass. "I'd run my hands under your skirt, and slide my fingers under the edge. I want to trace the crease of your thighs. Are you wet? Are you as hot for me as I am for you, big guy?" 

My arousal nudged the crevice between her buttocks, and she backed against me. One arm wound around my neck, and to my surprise, she pulled my mouth down for a kiss. I had not been prepared for that. 

"Yes!" she breathed, and took the hand that was kneading her right breast and urged it between her thighs, encouraging me to stroke her heated core. 

All right, I admit it. I lost my head. 

I unbuttoned her bell-bottoms and shoved them off her slim hips and down her legs, leaving her bare to my avid gaze. My cock was so hard, and so erect, I could barely get my own jeans down over it. It bounced free, hitting me in the abdomen. 

Jamie spread her legs as much as the imprisoning jeans would allow, and angled her hips toward me. "Take me, Blair! Fuck me! Make me forget everyone else!" 

I snapped my fingers, and a tube of lubricant appeared in the air. I coated my fingers and rubbed some on the rosebud pucker of her hole. Jamie moaned, and I pressed her back lower to make her bend more. My tail slid over her shoulder and rubbed its length repeatedly over her turgid nipple, distracting her. 

She was hot. Shivers of passion rippled over her skin, and she accepted the first finger I inserted readily. And the second. And the third. 

"Don't tease me, Blair! No one's ever done this to me before! I want you to fuck my ass!" 

"I have every intention of doing that, babe!" While one hand was busy finger-fucking her, the other was preparing my arousal, smearing it with the lube. I replaced my fingers with my cock, and slid easily into her relaxed opening. 

Her hips rocked back, and she took my entire length. She was so tight. The sound she made was deep and throaty. 

I forgot I was punishing Jim for leaving me hanging for all those months, while he lived his perfect, Father Knows Best life. I lost myself in the heat of his/her snug passage, stroking myself toward an orgasm that I knew would be worth the wait. 

But when it came, somehow, something was missing. Oh, I climaxed, and I made sure Jamie came as well, teasing that bit of flesh that was hidden in her folds. 

But it was the same as when Jim fucked me in Carolyn's body. Close, but no cigar. Satisfying, but not _satisfying_. 

Carefully, I pulled out of Jamie's body and grabbed some paper towels to clean myself off. 

"Okay," she snapped, as she retrieved my dampened handkerchief and wiped off the residue of our lovemaking. "What's up with this? You fucked me up the ass, gave me a great orgasm. And I know you came! Do you have any idea how hot your semen is? I thought you'd cook me from the inside out!" 

I gave her a lopsided grin. "I was pretty damn good, wasn't I?" 

"You know you were! You've ruined me for every other guy!" she scowled, and then her eyes widened as that thought sank in. "Oh, shit! I'm going to spend the rest of my life wanting to be sodomized! You've made me gay!" 

My jaw dropped open. "What?" 

"This is all your fault! I was never with a guy before!" 

"Oh, no? I've got a news flash for you, big guy! That first time with Carolyn Plummer? Well, guess whose ass you actually fucked!!" 

"No way!" 

"Yes, way! Why do you think she would never let you rim her? And were any of her blow jobs as good as that first one?" 

Dumbly, Jamie/Jim shook her/his head. "Well, fuck me!" 

"In case you hadn't noticed," I said frostily, "I just have!" 

I turned to leave, but paused at the door. "You're unhappy with this wish? Use the pager." 

"What? Hey!" he protested. 

"And make another fucking wish!" And I walked out of the restroom. 

* * *

I glared at the hologram of Jim Ellison as it hovered above the Oriental rug that covered the floor of my study. "What?" I snarled at him. 

"I'm home." 

"I'm so fucking happy for you!" 

"Um, I decided on my next wish." He was a little hesitant. 

I'll bet his ass was still sore from having my cock deep inside it. I nodded to myself. He wouldn't fuck with me any more. I _am_ the Prince of Darkness! 

"Okay, shoot. It's your nickel." 

He smiled. He had the goddamned nerve to smile at me! "In case you hadn't noticed, Chief, a phone call costs a quarter these days." 

"Ellison...blow me!" 

His eyes were suddenly hot, and I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if we ever finally managed to have sex in our own bodies. So far, I'd been able to skirt the issues by having him fuck me in his future wife's body. And I had fucked him when he'd found his feminine side. 

But I wanted his ass. _His_ ass. I sighed. 

"It was just a figure of speech, James." 

"A figure of speech? Like 'never the twain shall meet'?" The corner of his mouth tilted in a tempting smile. 

I knew I shouldn't ask, but I couldn't resist that smile. "What 'twain'?" 

His laugh was hearty, and went right to my cock, which twitched in interest. "The twain on twack twee." 

I turned away, sternly reminding myself that I was still angry with him. "All right, scratch that. Tell me your wish, so I can grant it." 

"You still pissed, Chief?" he asked softly. " _I'm_ not. I...really liked having you in my ass." 

"I was in _Jamie's_ ass! Big difference! As far as I know, _you're_ still a virgin! But if that's your wish, I'm sure I can find someone who would be happy to oblige you and pop your cherry!" I sneered. 

//Sure I would. I'd tear the head off anyone who even _seemed_ interested!// 

That subdued him a bit. "Okay, Chief. No need to get nasty about it. Just say your dance card is filled." 

I felt guilty. Until I realized he was manipulating me! And then I felt angry. _I_ am the manipulator, not the manipulatee! I slammed my hand down on my desk and was pleased to see him jump. "Make. Your. Wish." I gritted out. 

"Well..." 

"C'mon, Ellison, spill it! I've got lives to ruin, souls to torment, demons to keep in line! I can't wait all day for you to make up your mind!" 

He glanced at me from the corner of those blue eyes. I felt myself start to melt, and had to get a grip."I've always wanted to write," he finally said. "Books, y'know? I've got an index file with ideas that I've been keeping since I got back from Peru! So, here it is: I wish I were a famous author, on the New York Times best seller list, the whole magilla!" 

That brought me back to reality with a jolt. Next he'd tell me he wanted to be a 90's kind of sensitive guy! What a wimpy wish! I curled my lip in disgust, snapped my fingers, and turned away from the hologram, not even waiting for him to vanish. 

* * *

It was a slow day in Hell, and I didn't have anything better to do. Really. I didn't. So I followed him. 

He had a book signing at a famous book chain. 

I could see the mobs of people from a distance. The police had set up barricades, so those waiting on line were cordoned off. They wound in on themselves, snaking up and down the block, and then disappeared around the corner. 

That was a hellacious amount of women waiting to see Jim. 

Yeah, the people on line were mostly women. Young, fit, attractive; blondes, brunettes, redheads. All upwardly mobile, and all with one thing in common. Each was towing along at least one toddler! 

//It's good to be the devil.// 

I heard his roar from across the street. " _Sandburg_!" 

I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my Armani trousers, unconcerned about ruining the smooth line, and began to stroll in the opposite direction. 

A large hand landed on my shoulder and spun me around. 

"Cocksucking, son-of-a-bitch bastard! You did it to me _again_!" 

I raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon? You are an author, aren't you? A very well-known author, I might add." 

"I'm supposed to be the author of police procedurals, of blood curdling murder mysteries! Like James Patterson or John Grisham. Not kiddy books! I've become the Doctor Seuss of Cascade!" 

"Hey, man, it was your wish! You're not happy with it, page me and make another wish!" 

"Why do I have to page you when you're right here?" His eyes were taking on a manic glitter, and I thought it best to humor him. 

"Okay, big guy. Name it." 

"I want money!" 

Ah! El greedo strikes again. 

"It doesn't buy everything, you know." 

"That's true. But what it won't buy, I can't use!" 

"Geez, Ellison, don't quote song lyrics to me! I can't stand it!" 

He became more relaxed, and grinned and ruffled my hair. And jerked his hand back when he got burned, shaking his fingers and blowing on them. 

Now it was my turn to grin, and I smoothed back my hair. It gets static-y when it gets so long, and curly, and I need a scrunchi to restrain it. 

I watched him as he strode away, the muscles of his thighs and ass moving fluidly under the Perry Ellis trousers he had chosen to wear for the book signing. 

Mm, mm, mm. That was one _fine_ ass! 

I snapped my fingers and turned to go back to Hell. The smile on my face was positively evil. 

* * *

I was buried in paperwork when the pager went off this time. I stretched a long arm and picked up the receiver, punching in the number on the little screen of the device. 

"Yeesss?" I sing-songed. 

His voice was tight with anger. "Get. Me. The Fuck. Out Of Here!" 

"Why, James, it's so nice to hear from you, too!" 

A feral growl came over the phone, and I had to cover the receiver to block out my laughter. 

"What can I do for you, Jim? Aren't you enjoying your new-found wealth?" 

"Fuck, _no_! IA is on my ass about it!" 

"Internal Affairs?" 

"Yeah," he stated glumly, his tone of voice definitely taking a downturn, and his anger petering out. "Not to mention the IRS and my accountant!" 

"The IRS _and_ your accountant?" I began to snicker. I tried to change it into a cough, and wound up choking. 

"I _told_ you not to mention them! Chief, you gave me all this money, but there's no honest, logical way I could have it!" 

"Did you consider telling them that your uncle, John Beresford Tipton, left it to you?" 

"You expect me to say something like that? Do you think IA is fucking stupid?" Before I could respond to that, he continued morosely. "I tried it. They didn't buy it!" 

I was silent for a beat. "You told them The Millionaire was your uncle?" 

"Yeah. I know. How dumb was that? But I couldn't think of any other way to explain the money. If I told them the Devil gave it to me, they'd slap me into a psych ward so fast you'd think I was that kid from The Exorcist!" 

I rocked my chair back and swung my feet up onto my desk, scattering papers. I made a noncommittal sound, thoroughly enjoying the jam he had stumbled into. 

All right, sticking my foot out had a great deal to do with it. But, hey, that's my job! 

I brought my attention back to what he was saying. "They've frozen all my assets, and if I don't raise bail in twenty minutes, they're sending me down to the lock-up!" 

I sat up abruptly. That hadn't been in the plan! "Who's running the show down there?" 

"Some new clown. Emmett something-or-other, I think. Um, Blair, I won't dick with you. I'm a little nervous on this one! It could mean my badge, Chief!" 

"Not today, man!" I snapped. "I'll be down there before you know it." 

"Thanks..." Jim slowly looked over his shoulder and turned pale when he saw me suddenly wink into view. " _Shit_! I fucking _hate_ when you do that, Chief!" 

I was straightening the sleeves of the business suit I had selected on the fly. "Sorry it took so long, big guy. I had to wait for the suit to come back from the cleaners." It wouldn't do for him to think I was concerned. 

He sat down heavily. "I think I'm gonna be sick!" 

I kneaded his shoulders, digging my fingers into the muscle. "Deep breaths, Jim. And try not to worry. No one fucks with my property." 

His eyes were tired. "You smell of sulfur, Chief." 

"Sorry, man. Dial it down. Now, where's this Emmett when he's at home?" 

Jim nodded at a door with the name Johnson Emmett stencilled on the frosted glass. I shot my cuffs, tugged at my jacket and rolled my shoulders to settle the fit. The big detective smiled at me. "I can almost feel sorry for this dickhead!" 

"Don't bother! Remember, _I'm_ not the One who does mercy!" 

* * *

"Remind me never to get _you_ pissed off!" 

We were walking out of Cascade PD headquarters. I smoothed the line of my sleeve and cocked an eyebrow at him. "You thought I was pissed?" 

That brought him up short. "Well, you certainly gave a good impression of it! I'd have been pissing my pants if you spoke to me like that! My God, that was cold!" Jim missed my frown at his use of the Supreme Being's name. "You made him look like an officious, incompetent, ineffectual fool, and you never once raised your voice." 

I shrugged as if it was nothing, but I was pleased that I had impressed him. "He overstepped his boundaries," I murmured, letting the big detective think I was referring to the man's job description. Jim didn't need to know that Emmett was one of mine, and that his instructions had been to make Jim's life so uncomfortable he would have no choice but to request another wish. 

But I _didn't_ want Jim in lock-up, where he might be subject to harassment, _or worse_ , by some of the low-lifes who were incarcerated there. "Come on, big guy. I'll buy you lunch, and you can think about your next wish." 

* * *

We went to a well-known fast food place. Jim was scarfing down a double hamburger that was smothered in special sauce, lettuce, Pepper-Jack cheese, pickles and onions on a sesame seed bun. I watched in disbelief as the last bite disappeared between his lips, leaving only a sheen of grease. 

And I wanted to lick his lips clean. Oh, this was not good, not if I wanted to collect his soul. I needed a distraction. 

I glanced at the little kid in the next booth. He was eating a barbecued rib sandwich. I smiled. 

"Hey, Ma!" the kid exclaimed, pulling something out of his sandwich. "Look! There's a piece of string in my lunch!" 

His mother didn't look too thrilled to be called away from her conversation on her cell phone. She glanced at the 'string' her son held up for her inspection. And then her eyes focused on it, and she _really_ saw what it was. 

Her shriek was ear-splitting. Her cell phone went flying. "R-r- _rat_!" And then her eyes rolled up in her head, and she fainted dead away. 

Being the good cop that he was, Jim was on his knees beside her, waving his napkin over her face. "Ma'am? Are you all right, ma'am? Someone call 911!" The manager came running over and stood there wringing his hands. 

"Ah, come on, big guy. She just passed out. She doesn't need a paramedic!" 

Jim glared at me. " _You_ did this, didn't you?" He got to his feet as the woman began reviving. The manager took his place next to the woman, fanning her with the napkin and babbling reassurances. 

"Jim!" I spoke with exaggerated patience. "I was sitting next to you the entire time. What could I have done?" 

He was toe to toe with me now, and he cupped my chin and tilted it so that our eyes met. For a moment I thought he meant to kiss me. Instead, "You are _Satan_ ," he said, so softly I had to strain to hear him. "You are capable of doing whatever you choose." 

//How nice! He noticed!// 

I leaned closer, hoping for that kiss, but he drew back, and I felt bereft. 

This _definitely_ was not good! 

"Um, you decide on your next wish, Jim?" I fell into step beside him as he hurried down the walk, and we left the golden arches behind. 

"Yeah, I have. I've given this a lot of thought, and...I want to make a difference," he said in a rush. "I want my life to count for something." 

"You mean you want your name in the history books," I said sourly. 

"No, you don't understand. I did a lot of thinking when I realized that I could be looking at jail time. I'm a cop. 'Protect and Serve', remember? I need to know that I did more with my time on Earth than take up breathing space." 

"Noble son-of-a-bitch!" I muttered under my breath. "Okay." I ran my fingers through my brown streaked-with-hellfire hair, thinking hard. "Okay, Jim. You've got your wish!" 

I snapped my fingers, and he was gone. 

I knew what was going to happen. I didn't even need to be there. 

I'd just sit back and wait for him to call. 

* * *

The dust surrounding the old mission was thick and choking. It hadn't rained in days. Food was low. Water was low. Ammunition was low. 

And the enemy was just over the rise. 

Jim propped himself up on his arm, his big knife, the one that bore his name, in his right hand, a flintlock muzzle loader in his left. He was feverish, and his leg hurt like the devil. But he wouldn't have changed the path he had chosen for all the gold in the legendary, lost Los Almagres Mine. 

There were good men here in this place with him, volunteers and regulars alike. They were fighting the good fight. When Colonel Travis had drawn a line in the sand, and asked all those who were willing to stay to step across it, every single one of the men had taken that step. Jim's recently freed slave had helped him, and even though he was unable to rise from his pallet, and no one would have thought the worse of him for preferring the safety of the little town nearby, Jim made it known in no uncertain terms that he was going to stay. 

Suddenly there was the thunder of cannon, the clatter of horses' hooves, the staccato bark of rifle fire. This was their last stand. 

I watched on my big screen monitor, certain he would call for me. But he didn't. Goddamn hero! And Santa Anna's men overran the little mission. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. I yanked him out of that body and flung him into another, not paying attention, not even caring where I sent him, as long as it was anywhere but there. 

* * *

"Sir." 

Jim looked up from the big desk behind which he sat. He put down a pen and picked up another one, preparing to continue signing the historic document. 

"Yes, Simon?" 

"The Attorney General requests a moment of your time." 

"Very well. Take my son to my wife, if you please. We'll need to get ready to leave soon, and she'll want to say goodbye to him." 

"Yes, sir." The big black man stooped down and swept the small boy out from under the desk where he was playing and up into his arms. "Let's go find your momma, little man!" 

The child giggled and snuggled down in the secret service man's competent hold. 

Simon Banks, part of the president's personal security team, stood aside at the door and nodded to the man who brushed through. "Sir." 

"Hello, Simon. Hello there, young man." He ruffled the boy's thick brown hair. 

The two men waited until they were alone. 

"What is it?" 

"Just came to wish you a safe flight!" 

Jim was struggling to keep his breathing even. When he realized he was now inhabiting the body of a famous president, he was at first thrilled. 

Then he realized which president it was. 

And then he realized what the date was. 

Blair must still be furious with him. True, he had saved him from certain death at the Alamo. But now Jim found himself in the Oval Office. Somehow, he didn't think Blair would get him out of this one. 

He tossed down the last pen and rose heavily, favoring his bad back. 

"Thanks, Mr. Attorney General." 

"Hey, why so formal?" 

Jim hugged the younger man. "Listen, if anything should happen to me..." His Boston accent was very noticeable. 

"Damn it, Jack. _Nothing's_ going to happen! This is fucking Camelot!" 

"But still..." 

"All right, I promise. But I think you're worrying for nothing! Now go catch your flight! You want to make a good impression on those people in Dallas!" 

* * *

I glanced at my clock. The minute hand didn't seem to have moved in the last thirty seconds. 

I raised my left hand to my mouth, only to find I had chewed all the nails down to the quick. I started in on my right hand. 

He wasn't going to page me. I knew it. I had known it since that debacle at the Alamo. 

Now, he would go to Dallas and die. 

I spat out a nail and reached for the clock, flinging it across the room. Not. Fucking. Likely! 

"Sir?" 

"Geez, Megan! _What_?" 

"Sorry." 

Yeah, sure she was sorry. _I_ could see that smile she was trying to hide. I glared at her. "You can be replaced by a lesser demon, you know!" I reminded her. 

"I don't think so, Boss. _I_ know where all the bodies are buried, remember!" 

The flames in my eyes burned brightly, and she backed up. Smart woman. She knew when to push, and when to back away. This was definitely a time to back away. 

"Sorry, sir. Just wanted you to know there isn't much time left. If he doesn't call within the next sixty seconds, you'll lose him." 

"Fuck that! I will _not_ lose him!" It meant losing face. It meant caving in to a _mortal_! It meant...who gave a fuck what it meant? I was not going to let him die! 

I snapped my fingers, and he was there on the rug in my study, on his knees from the force of his transition from Earth to Hell. He looked good on his knees. I licked my lips and took a step toward him. 

The phone rang. The _white_ phone. The hot line! Shit. 

Megan looked at the phone, her body language clearly stating that she was not getting involved in a contretemps between the Ruler of Hell and the Supreme Being. 

I cleared my throat. "Get that for me, would you, Megan, there's a dear?" 

"Boss, not if my hope of eternity depended on it!" She scuttled out of my study. 

And the phone kept ringing. That damned, annoying 'ring ring' that the Europeans had borrowed from my phone system. Why had I ever settled on that sound? 

I straightened the white suit I was wearing and grabbed the receiver. "Hell. Satan speaking." 

"Blair. What are you up to?" 

I can obfuscate with the best of them, but _not_ with the Head Honcho. "Sir, this is strictly between the mortal and me." 

"I'm getting some disturbing ripples in the ether, Blair. Knock it off!" 

"Sir, if I might say a word in my own defense?" 

"No. I expect you to straighten out this mess. And stop playing with the time continuum. It makes Me cranky!" 

"Yes, Sir." But I was left with just a dial tone in my ear. 

I hung up and turned to regard Jim as he crouched on the rug, shaking his head. 

"God, that was brutal!" he groaned. "I don't think I can do that two more times!" 

"You will refrain from using that name while you are here!" I snapped. Having conversations, however truncated, with the Supreme Being always left me out of sorts. 

"Huh? Oh, sorry... Chief. I'll...I'll try to... remember that." He seemed to have trouble centering himself. And then he toppled over onto his side. 

"Jim? _Jim_?" _Fuck_! He wasn't breathing! The transition must have shocked his system into overload. "Oh, no, big guy! You're not checking out on _my_ time!" 

I tilted his head back, pinched his nose, and sealed our mouths together. Two full breaths, and I was about to pull back to check for a pulse, when his arms went around me, and he drew me closer and traced my lips with his tongue. 

"Chief? _This_ is my next wish!" 

* * *

My hands were fisted in his hair, which wasn't easy. Why did he insist on keeping his hair so short? He wasn't a Ranger any more, and it didn't disguise the fact that he was developing an impressive widow's peak. 

And why was I worried about the length of Jim Ellison's hair, when I had him writhing beneath me, his body a living, breathing mattress. 

I slid my tongue between his lips, and he began sucking on it like it was a sweet he had been deprived of for too long. And I went wild. My hips thrust against his groin, and I could feel his hard-on straining to reach mine. Jim's hands were squeezing my ass, tracing the crease and seeking the opening to my narrow passage. He pressed against it through the Fantasy Island slacks I wore. 

I began fumbling with belts and buttons and zippers. 

From a distance, I could hear my name being called, and I wondered how he could speak with his mouth full. And I wondered when his voice had changed to contralto. 

And then I realized that while Jim might call me 'Chief', or 'hairboy' if he was really annoyed, he never called me 'Boss'. 

The big detective went still under me, and regretfully I freed his mouth. 

"Megan, you're not happy in that body I gave you, are you? Perhaps you'd like something a little more appropriate? A gnome, perhaps? Or did you have more enjoyment when you were a gargoyle?" 

"Please. Boss. Not. That," my demon Friday murmured in a bored voice, rolling her eyes. She was right when she said she knew where all the bodies were buried. More important than that, she knew where all the files were kept. She was invaluable. 

"Why did you stop me, Megan?" 

She leaned close, her lips against my ear, her words reaching no further. "Boss, if you take his body, you're going to lose his soul!" She stepped back and spoke in a normal tone. "According to the document he signed, he is entitled to know the score." 

"Shit. You're right!" I leaned my forehead against Jim's and gave a huff of laughter. "Sorry, big guy. As much as I hate to admit it, Megan is right." 

His voice was tight. "You're turning honorable _now_ , Chief?" His hold on me strengthened, and he rolled his hips upward, teasing my cock. 

"Not by my own choice, I swear," I groaned. "We have to go by the book. When the Supreme Being set up Heaven and Hell, He made a set of rules to go with them. They have to be followed." 

He pushed me up to search my eyes. "Since when has Satan ever followed any rules but his own?" 

I stroked the curve of his jaw and regretfully got to my feet. "My reputation has been sadly maligned! Since the beginning, big guy. Oh, I might bend them a little, but there's only so far that I'm permitted to go. _I_ was created by the Supreme Being also, you know." 

Jim sat up in the middle of that Oriental rug, looking so good I wanted to tear his clothes off and bury myself in him. He drew his knees up and rested his chin on them. His cool blue eyes observed me thoughtfully. 

"All right, then," he said. "I've got two wishes left. Why can't one of them be to have you?" 

The heat we had been generating had raised a fine mist of perspiration, and I raised the hair off the back of my neck to allow the air to dry it. His nostrils flared, and those cool eyes grew hot. I licked my lips. 

"You only have one wish left. If you wish for me..." 

" _What_? How the fuck did that happen?" 

"You made six wishes." 

He rose to his feet in a smooth, graceful movement and wound his hand in my shirtfront, dragging me up on my toes so that we were eye to eye. 

Wisely, Megan chose that moment to make herself scarce. The door closed quietly behind her. Neither of us paid much attention. 

" _Five_!" Jim corrected grimly, his breath warm on my face. 

"Six," I reiterated. 

He ticked them off on the fingers of his left hand. "One, I wished for Carolyn. Two, to be popular in high school." He shuddered. "Three, to be a famous author, only you turned me into Dr. Seuss! Four, to be rich, and five to be someone who made a difference. Oh, wait a minute; you're not counting that as two wishes, are you, because I was in two different bodies? Because I'll fight you on that one, Chief!" 

I shook my head, unable to tear my eyes from the movement of his lips. "No, that was just one wish, Jim." 

"Well then, five wishes!" 

"Nnnnno. You also wished for the kind of clothes that would give you a touch of class. The kind that would attract Carolyn to you. That's what drew her in the first place!" 

"You can't count that! I had to pay for all of them myself! I even had to pay for the freaking taxi to get to the fucking shop!" 

I swallowed a grin. "But you wished for them!" 

"Yeah." His expression became meditative as he recalled each of our meetings. "Yeah, I guess I did." A shiver ran through his big body. "I well and truly belong to you now?" 

I pursed my lips and responded as if the answer had just occurred to me. "Well, there is the matter of that last wish. You have to make that wish first." 

"Okay, Chief. One last wish." He let me go and paced the rug, running his hand through his hair. "Then it's you, Blair. I want you." 

I felt all the blood rush from my head and pool in my cock. My mouth went dry. 

And then I shook my head. "I can't let you do that." 

"Why? Because you won't get my soul then?" 

"How did you know that?" 

"My senses, Blair." He began stalking me around my study, forcing me to take two steps back for every one of his. "I came back from Peru with enhanced senses! How do you think I always knew when you were around? And I _always_ did! _I could smell you_! Do you have any idea how turned on your scent makes me?" 

"It does?" My voice came out in a squeak, and I cleared my throat, and tried again. "It does?" I backed into a wall and banged my head. "Oww!" 

He took a lock of my hair and rubbed it over his nose and mouth. "Hell, _yes_!" he growled. 

I wound my arms around his neck and pulled myself against him. 

"And I could hear what Megan whispered to you! My body or my soul, you can have one or the other, but not both!" 

My arms dropped to my side, and I could taste the loss in my mouth, more bitter than any defeat I had ever suffered. "So, to save your immortal soul, you're willing to barter your ass?" 

"You don't get it, do you, Chief?" He pressed his body against mine, keeping me in place. 

Not that I was going anywhere. I'd fuck him because I had no choice. I'd take his body: I wanted him too badly. "Explain it to me, big guy." 

He lapped at the pulse beating erratically in my throat, and bit down gently. And then not so gently. "I want forever, Blair. I want that wish." 

My mouth hung open and I stared at him stupidly. "But... if I fuck you, the contract is null and void. You get to go free and live your life until the _Big_ Big Guy calls you home." 

Jim was shaking his head. "I've got one last wish coming. You said I did, and I'm holding you to it!" He nuzzled my mouth. "You, Chief. I wish for you." 

I'm Satan. Noble isn't my shtick. And I wasn't about to give him a chance to have second thoughts. I tried to snap my fingers, but they were too damp for decent friction. I moaned. "Shit, shit, shit!" I rubbed my hand against my trousers and finally was able to achieve a satisfying _pop_ , granting his final wish. 

I don't know what I expected. Thunderbolts? Earth... *hell*quakes? Volcanic eruptions? Some indication of the Supreme Being's more than usual displeasure with me? After all, Jim was definitely one of the good guys, on the side of the angels. 

And now, James Joseph Ellison was _mine_! 

There was a possessive smile on my face, and I reached for him, ready to put my mark on him. 

* * *

I was buffeted by a whirlwind, and found myself in a place where there was total sense deprivation: nothing to see, to hear, to touch. I floated in a white cocoon, and I knew the shit was about to hit the fan. 

//Blair.// 

Oh shit. //Yes, Lord?// 

//You seem to be a trifle confused, here.// 

//Sir?// Why was He sounding so pleased? I've just taken one of His for one of mine! 

//What did he wish for, Blair?// 

//Huh? Excuse me, Sir. Um, his last wish was to be mine.// 

A loud, booming laugh rang out. //Try running by that again, Blair.// 

//Yes, Sir.// You don't fool around with the _Big_ Big Guy. He tells you to do something, you do it. 

Carefully, I went over the conversation I had had with Jim. He said... Okay, that was all right. 

And then I said... Yeah, that was what I thought I had said. 

And then Jim said... 

Oh shit. He wished for _me_! 

_He_ wasn't _mine_! 

_I_ was _his_! 

* * *

"Hey, sleepy head! Rise and shine! The Captain's expecting us!" 

A large hand descended abruptly on my sheet-covered buttocks. Muttering drowsily, I burrowed deeper under the pillow that was redolent with my lover's scent. As he caressed me, I arched into his touch. 

Suddenly, the sheet was gone, and Jim was fondling the tip of my long, leathery tail. He had discovered it the first time he had stripped me naked, but he was so intent on getting into my ass that he barely paid it any attention. 

I had been afraid that this unusual aspect of my physiology might turn him off. I should have known better. He had simply brushed it aside, parted my buttocks and slid into me with one smooth thrust. 

And after all, Jim had those hyper senses of his that we learned how to deal with. I had come to adore the way his nostrils would flare when he was scenting me, or how he would moan at the taste of my body as he licked me from the tips of my toes to the hollow at the base of my skull. 

Actually, I adored everything about the man. 

But once he discovered that my tail was one of the most erogenous spots on my body, he often took the time to stroke it, delighting in the deep flush that would turn my flesh an almost alarming shade of red. And the first time he brought me to climax, simply by toying with my tail, had caught us both by surprise. 

Now my tail was wrapped around my upper thigh, carefully out of the way so it wouldn't get rolled on in our sleep. Although Jim loved to awaken with it curled around his cock, gently squeezing him to hardness, the night before had seen the close of a particularly nasty case that had been worrying the Cascade PD for weeks, and we had tumbled into bed, too exhausted to do more than snatch a brief kiss and fall soundly asleep in one another's arms. 

"C'mon, you neo-hippy, witch doctor..." 

I rolled over and tossed the pillow at him. "Smile, when you call me that, partner!" 

He came down smoothly and covered my body with his bigger one. One hand tangled in my long, curly brown hair, and he yanked it gently. "God, I love you, Blair!" 

I grew still at the use of the Deity's name. There was something there, at the edge of my memory, and each time the Supreme Being was mentioned, it became almost clear. But then Jim would touch me, or smile at me, or speak my name, and my thoughts would scatter, and all I could see was him. 

It happened now, as Jim wound his tongue through my nipple ring, and tugged lightly on it. The fingers of his free hand teased my other nipple, squeezing and plucking it. 

I pushed those uncomfortable thoughts out of my mind, and shuddered as sensation arrowed down from my nipples to my groin. 

I sighed and kicked the sheet off my lower body, arching up, shamelessly offering myself to my lover. 

"Tell me what you want, Chief," he murmured as he licked a path to my mouth. His cheek was rough from the stubble of his incipient morning beard, but his lips were gentle and warm as they brushed over mine. 

I parted my lips, and he dipped his tongue in to test the textures of my mouth. I teased it with my own tongue, licking it delicately, and he hummed in pleasure. 

"Touch me," I murmured, and his hand caressed the flat planes of my torso, stroking down to my thighs, working back up to thread his fingers through the wiry curls at my groin, before taking my quivering length in his grip. His thumb rubbed across the crown, coating it with pre come that was beading at the tip. 

"Suck me," I pleaded, and I could feel his smile against my lips. He made his way down my body, rubbing his own erection against my hair-roughened skin. His mouth paused here and there, nipping the flesh over my ribs, drawing it between his lips and suckling hard enough to leave a mark. He explored the depression that was my navel, and then moved lower, teasing my erection with an all-too-brief contact with his mouth before moving across to my hip, pressing hungry, open-mouthed kisses along the curve as he turned me onto my stomach. 

Hands that contained a fine tremor parted my buttocks, and I felt his tongue follow the path from my balls to my tailbone. A broad swipe teased my puckered opening, and I jumped and moaned at the thrill of pleasure that ran through me and pooled in my cock. 

"You like that, Chief?" 

"More, please!" I begged, wriggling to get closer. 

"I don't know why I never did this to you before, Blair!" 

But he had. Hadn't he? It seemed almost as if that had occurred in another life... 

And then it didn't matter, as he carefully inserted his lubed fingers into my waiting hole. Carefully he stretched and relaxed me, and I got my knees under me and rocked back to take more of his tantalizing touches. 

"Fuck me, big guy!" I ordered. "I can't wait any more!" 

Jim stilled as he prepared himself. Impaled on his fingers, I moved restlessly, hoping he would curl them enough to find my prostate. That just earned me a hard slap on a buttock. "Behave, Chief! You don't want me to spank you, do you?" 

I moaned and raised my ass, silently pleading for whatever he wanted to do with me. 

Jim's breathing was becoming ragged as I tempted him to lose total control. He withdrew his fingers, and then the broad head of his cock was at my opening, breaching me slowly but steadily, the sensation of fullness almost overpowering. 

I shook with the effort it took to refrain from climaxing right then. Jim helped by squeezing the base of my cock, and the need to come abated. He found the angle he wanted and settled in to a rhythm that brought him into constant contact with the spot that drove me wild. 

He made me burn, and somehow I knew, _I knew_ , that it was hotter than the hottest fires of hell. 

"I need more, Chief!" he groaned, desperate to reaffirm our connection. "I need to be as filled as I'm filling you!" He strokes were becoming erratic, and as much as he tried to withstand it, I could sense his orgasm approaching. 

Jim was so lost in the need to come that he didn't realize that something a little unusual was happening. My tail snaked around his thigh and stroked carefully over his exposed hole. A judicious snap of my fingers produced another tube of lube and I hauled in my tail and slicked it enough to enable me to enter him without damaging the delicate tissues of his snug channel. 

And then while he fucked me, I fucked him, expanding the pointed tip and sliding that thick tail deep into him, then retracting it and drawing it back until it was just within the tight ring of muscle. 

"Chief, oh, my God! Blair, what are you doing?" 

I stopped moving. 

"No, _no_! _Don't_ stop! Keep fucking me!" 

He had to say that. He had to say those words. 

I came. Hard. Spattering my essence all over my chest and the sheets and Jim's hands. 

And I gripped his cock tightly with my inner muscles, and drove my tail deep within his ass, where I could feel his muscles contracting as he came, filling me with his hot semen. 

Gradually we stopped trembling from the force of our mutual climaxes. Jim rolled to his side, keeping me snug against his body. His hand brushed the tumbled curls out of my face, and off my neck, exposing the vulnerable spot below my ear that bore his mark. 

He licked it and murmured a protest when I moved to reach for the phone. 

"Shhh," I hushed him as I punched in the number for Captain Banks' private line. 

Jim could hear the Captain's groan over the line. That was one of the upsides to having a lover with hyper senses. He could hear everything. 

It was also one of the downsides. 

He cocked an inquiring eyebrow at me. 

"Yeah," I responded to Simon Banks' question. "It's the big guy's partner. Listen, Captain, we don't really need to come in today, do we?" 

"Blair, there's a lot of paperwork that needs to be cleared up for this case," the Captain protested. 

"And doesn't Jim get it done faster since I've become his guide?" 

"Well, yes, this is true," Simon agreed reluctantly. 

"Good. So give us today off, and we'll be in first thing tomorrow. You'll have it on your desk before noon!" 

He growled at me in defeat. "See that it is!" And he slammed the phone down. 

I grinned at my lover and got back into bed with him, snuggling my ass against his burgeoning cock. My tail curled behind us and stroked the line of his back. 

"Now. Where were we?" 

Jim laughed softly. "Chief, you're such a _devil_!" 

~End~ 

* * *

End Bewitched, Bedazzled and Bewildered by Tinnean: Tinneantoo@aol.com

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Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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